I walked into a church today, or should i say cathedral, that what it said outside...as I peered at it through burning eyes... for the first time in my life. I didnt go there to seek advice or to cast blame or confess or to be grateful. I just went there because i saw it and I had never been there before.
It was vast,lavish , with rows of varnished chairs cradling silent bibles leading up to a white conclave, adorned with intricate wood, cement and brass.
It had a red carpet laid out for someone ..I guess inviting God in.well, I actually half expected God to get off the back wall, walk up to me and tell me what to do for the rest of my life. That would have made things a little more interesting , dont u think? well, curse my luck, must not be my day because nothing of the sort happened.
I was all alone there scanning the entire place ,thinking a million thoughts.
It was like a vault , sepulchrous and expansive, fawning and indulgent, its stained glass like the dead in Westminster Abbey, unable to shine their porous light.
Then someone walked in and shut all the doors and windows ,dead bolted the doors , whom did he expect to break in, the Devil? The Devil would have never recieved a red carpet welcome in his lifetime if he did.
I felt trapped . So i walked out.
I want to go there again sometime.
To see Faith.Find out what it is.For I sure as hell dont know
1 comment:
I was brought up christian. Of course being gay, I was told on a regular basis that my soul would rot in hell. Thus being born to go to hell, at least in their opinion, Oh that's right, they thought I woke up one day and decided to be a persecuted minority... persecuted by them that is. I think Not.
I one day came to the conclusion that they and everyone else like them were wrong.
I also decided, wrong about God too.
So I was never big on organized religion and ended up studying all religions.
I finally decided they are all right and they are all wrong.
Basically when they get so involved in the Dogma, that is where they go wrong.
They are all describing the same thing... the indescribable. And so you can see why they are all right and all wrong.
When anyone says "I KNOW", you know they haven't a clue.
But faith. I know what that is.
that is when you get in touch with your inner self, with your subconsious, with the universe, God, what ever you want to call it.
Scientifically, since they say the universe is made up of many universes that are independent but also related, I feel that we are bigger than we think. And I tell you one thing, life has too many coincidences not to have a spirtual side.
In fact I have found you can make the universe work for you... sort of like magic....
Give your self a goal. But then let go of all conern about achieving the goal. It can be a simple as finding a great parking spot for your car. But the more you let go, the more it is likely to happen.
Also, one time, when your walking around just do what ever comes to mind, no matter how wierd it seems. this is the universe talking to you and you listening.
Try it. You will be suprised by what you find.
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